I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
Randomize
