So...we accidentally left a bag of puke in your sister's room. Heads up.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Tell me how you feel about belly buttons
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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