I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
hes sooooo boring!!! I feel like I’m in a relationship with myself now. I have an 8 inch dildo under my bed, THATS how much I’m in a relationship with myself.
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
Randomize
