Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
All I have in my new place is coke and a treadmill.. it's workout Wednesday
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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