Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
I just said give me penis or give me death. Some patriot is rolling around in his grave right now.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
