dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Randomize
