i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
The ass gains better be worth it
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