I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
We do have a rich storied history of emotional warfare
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
