My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
He is an equal opportunity slut.
weed, chlorine, and victory. my bed smells like i had sex with michael phelps.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Randomize
