It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
