All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize