I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
I just found glass in my funny face pancakes, there's nothing funny about that.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
