We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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