so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize