I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
Randomize
