if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
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