sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
