I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
Randomize
