i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
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