that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
Randomize
