I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Tell me why I'm at Target and this entire Spanish family is crowding around the condoms questioning which ones they should get
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
