Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
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