We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
Randomize
