a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Just pee around me
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
Randomize
