youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
