she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
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