Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
It's like God shit irony all over that family
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Randomize
