Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Randomize
