You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
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You. Win. At. Life.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I knew this night was headed for bad when I was drinking cherry bombs out of a sippy cup in the shower
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
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