she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
Randomize
