she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
