That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
she peed on how many people?
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
