I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
