you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
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