I CAN MOONWALK!
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
You gotta come over now. He is eating cupcakes while they are still in the foil.
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize