you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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