sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
