Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize