There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He wouldn't let me leave his house until he made me orgasm once for every year I've been alive. The birthday sex song did not prepare me for this.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
