So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
However many condoms you have, it isn't enough.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
