Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
