Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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