My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
WHY AM I BEING COCKBLOCKED BY A KID PLAYING HAVA NAGILA ON THE SAXAPHONE
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize