Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
cat food counts as protein by the way
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
It's like "hey I give your roommate blowjobs twice a week, want to connect on LinkedIn?"
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
