Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
You don't feed me, fuck me, or fulfill me.
Randomize