i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
