yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
