I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize