the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
if i see another status about New Moon, i'm gonna punch a baby
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Randomize