like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
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