You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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