trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
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