i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
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