chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
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