Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Randomize
