...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Randomize
