Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Uhg.. This isn't fair. I just want to have sex with you until i lose consciousness, wake up and start over... is that so much to ask?
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
