They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Randomize
